We've got a situation...: No time for a naughty chair!

So... Alex decided to store some wooden blocks in my oven when I wasn't looking and when I went to preheat my baked ziti smoke billowed through my house. Starting to choke, I ran to open the windows and they wouldn't budge. At this point the smoke alarm is going off loudly and the kids are screaming in terror. The dumbass painter I paid $500 for (out of pocket even thought my landlord should have picked up the entire tab) painted over the lock latches. Bastard. I had to open the front door door that has no screen. There is a chipmunk we've had issues with whom lives in the shrubbery just outside of the door. Alex named him Hooper just like the one he is obsessed with on PBS. The chipmunk friendship began a few weeks back when Alex opened the door and all I heard was, "Hooper come on it!!!" Hooper came in. By nightfall I had to call Honest Abe. I know of Honest Abe because my brother lives in my parents basement. One day last year my brother fell asleep on the couch after work and woke up to a squirrel on the arm of the couch, directly at his feet. They both panicked. The squirrel jumped off the walls downstairs until my parents yellow-paged Honest Abe. He came to the rescue. So again Honest Abe came to my rescue and got Hooper out. He released him into the wild woods of my backyard, but he must be a front of the house type of chipmunk. Or... Abe is not really honest as he would have driven him to an undisclosed location miles away and text me a picture of Hooper loving his new habitat. Anyway, Hooper is back. Waiting for Alex to allow him entry once again. So... ok.... back to the smoking fire in my oven and here I am opening the doors, pumping the ceiling fan, the smoke alarm finally deactivating, me chugging from my pint of wine, and using tongs to take the charred blocks out of the oven like all at once. I spent the next 20min prying off paint and opening my windows with a flat screwdriver and butter knife. (All while cursing my landlord and the dumbass painter) But the windows eventually opened. The smell of smoke barely lingered. The kids and I spent dinner talking about not touching the oven and how things that get hot can hurt people. Alex is two and a half years olds. Shit like this is bound to happen happens. Today though... oh today was a bit different. Dylan is getting really good at crawling. At 11 months he is a mighty boy with what I like to call Hulk-like-strength. It's developed all at once. He was a big fatty who laid around and rolled. Now he's a solid boy who crawls and pulls himself onto everything. So he was eating a crayon and as I went to take it away the lights went out. Blackout. Shit. Just as I start to call out, "Oh no where's Alex?!" I hear, "Oh no Mommy! Look!" Dylan and I grabbed a flashlight and ran into the bathroom. And to my horror Alex took my keys, climbed onto his step stool, and stuck the key into the 4ft+ high electrical outlet!!! Shit!!! Ok the fuse box is in the outdoor storage shed. Thank God it's outside. Super smart. BUT it's smoking... And it looks unlike any fuse box I have ever seen. Shit. I go to to Greek's next door and sure enough my dear friend's husband who I always just thought was a delivery guy is a licensed electrical engineer in Greece trying to get his certification here. God bless them. He came to our rescue with a flip of a switch, something old and something new, and an IOU of a BBQ dinner soon. Great. Twice this week my two year old has done some very naughty things. Twice this week he has managed to remind me to stay on my toes. He sure got me to to back to using my oven as additional storage space like in NYC because emptying it to cook was an always guaranteed safety check. And he showed me I need to cover ALL electrical outlets, not just the ones close to the floor.

Simple food is comfort food. Even though my kids live on salmon, corn, and spaghetti and clams (seriously... live on) they LOVE LOVE LOVE fun things. A Hole In The Bread breakfast is so great. I haven't eaten one in years and its delicious! I use a glass to cut out the holes. Butter the breads and I sprinkle cheese over the hole cut outs because let's face it... egg and cheese are meant for each other. Cook the egg till it doesn't jiggle. Salt, pepper, flip for a few seconds and serve. So easy.

And Micky Mouse pancakes. Oh dear yummmmmmm. I buy a batter that only needs water and add choco chips or blueberries. Pancakes with real maple syrup!!!! Prunes make the best lips for faces!!!