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Monday, April 29, 2013

When in doubt make meatballs

One of the biggest movie/theatrical villins of all time sings, "Some women are drippin with diamonds. Some women are drippin with pearls. Lucky me. Lucky me. Look at what I'm drippin with... little girls." - Miss Hannigan
So what, she wanted to make an extra dollar. So what, she wanted the floors to, "Shine like the top of The Chrysler Building." This lady was underpaid, overworked, and had like 20 little girls abusing and torturing her during her 24 hour a day job. She didn't have an assistant. She never could have had a boyfriend, lover, or who would even want to be her friend?! She didn't have anyone else to take over when she needed a cocktail and a bath. And you damn well know when one of those little girls got sick... everyone got sick. Wow. Saint Miss Hannigan. Annie got it all wrong. How mean could one woman be who dedicated 24hours a day to orphans? Just in this month alone I have suffered an almost broken nose as I took a head-butt in the middle of the night from my two year old, a broken toe from him dropping his ride on toy on my foot, a bite, YES a bite from when he bit me as they drew blood from him in the ER so nasty I considered getting a tetanus shot, I always have loads of bruises, Dylan who's 6.5 months literally rips my hair out all day, and he scratched my almost broken nose today. Last night while I was sleeping Alex woke up around 4am and decided it would be funny to put his toy train down the back of my shirt. I jumped and screamed. That woke up Dylan in hysterics who has zero tolerance for noise. We all had some milk and wound up watching Thomas and Friends until 6am when they passed out on my lap and I had to do my homework, make coffee, and be in school by 9am. And I only have two little boys. Imagine 5 or 6. The more I think about it the more I can't believe how much Angelina and Brad must really be a team. They seem to really have their shit all together with 6 or 7 kids. Marc and I don't work very well together, but we're working on that. After 13 years of living in Manhattan I am moving back to Jersey. There is no way I can schlep my kids on crowded subways; dealing with elevators that don't work so I can get angry..curse.. then have to walk 10 blocks with a very full fucking bladder to the next station where I then (excuse my massive run on sentence please) can take 2 elevators that do work to the platform, wait for the next train, and take it 30-40 minutes uptown home. Fuck that. And people do this everyday! Sure most days go smoother. They check the MTA website to make sure it doesn't have an elevator outage reported. Anywhere you go shit does happen. In Jersey, yes, my new car might break down. We might get stuck in traffic at times. We might get lost on a detour. But we can take care of it a hell of a lot easier and a hell of a lot quicker. Do you know that the good pre schools all over Manhattan cost $10,000-$12,000 a year for 2-3 year olds to attend 3 days a week for 3 hours? Before throwing in the towel I stressed how I can send my kid to Columbia Hospital's really good pre school down the street and justify the $800 a month price tag when we live in a 1 bedroom apartment and are not millionaires. Even if I did fork over the cash for that preschool or any other one, I have to take him there by subway with Dylan in toe. In rush hour. Rain or shine. Elevator working or not. No thank you. Because after preschool comes kindergarden which isn't even legally necessary in NYC. Could you imagine?!?! That shit show comes with a gamble that even if you are lucky to live in a good school district there are always more applicants than seats. So there is a chance your kid will get re-zoned to a shit school. In my neighborhood the "A" rated school fills up and the kids get re-zoned to a "D" rated school that is awful. Big difference. There's other options like spending that whole summer attending lottery drawings hoping your kid gets into a charter school so they can go to school and you can schlep them back and forth by subway in rush hour. It's too hard. I don't want to do that. I know what I want to do. I know I will be perfectly happy blogging while drinking a margarita in my backyard this summer. I will be happy in a community where pre-school and going to school in general is simple and the school district is great. I'll be even happier if I can get Alex and his trains to sleep in their own bed in his own bedroom. I'll be so freaking happy having a washer and dryer in my home. I'm not even asking for that much. Just a few materialistic luxuries that I feel are unrealistic in Manhattan and a necessity through out most of the rest of the modern world. I spent a year following the motto that, "It doesn't take more to make you happy but the people who you surround yourself with." Ok, ok but tht is just to an extent right? But for fuck sake take care of our children. Right? And take care, good care, of ourselves. Eat a little bit better. Take more walks. Stop and pause to look and enjoy more. Practice patience. Make meatballs. It's ok to slow down.

Mama Mia Mary's Meatballs
1 package mixed chop meat (veal, pork, beef)
1 dash milk
1 small onion chopped
5-6 cloves garlic chopped
Handful parsley chopped
2 handfuls Parmesan or Pecorino cheese
2 eggs
3 slices moistened crumpled bread
Salt pepper

Mix. Heat veg oil till hot. Roll meatballs by handful into balls as lightly as possible don't pack them tightly at all. You want them to be light and airy inside. So barely roll them. Gentle. Drop into oil. Turn onto all sides 5-7 minutes a batch.


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